HABBY BARFDAY to me.
Everybody thinks 20’s will be the best time of their lives. But the truth is far from it. You can only party, get high or go crazy that much.
My big 3-0 milestone is here already. Now that it’s here I took a few days to reflect on the things that really matter in my life right now.
Newly laundered bed sheets, clean towels, a fresh pot of coffee, simple things like this give me more pleasure than a mid-day shopping expedition at the mall or a day at the beach. I like some sunshine, the smell of vanilla and lemons too.
What I don’t like is being undervalued. I don’t like being lied to and I don’t like you sitting on my bed with your outside clothes.
*continues to rant inaudibly*
I completed over 90% of my bucket list – 60 things to do before 30, though.
It only gets better from here.
So here is some lady-wisdom you can use.
Share these life lessons with someone you love or snigger at it while you enjoy a good read. Let me know if you have any lessons for me in comments!
Complaining is a waste of time.
GOD is in control of everything. I can’t control the weather, the traffic and sometimes my own temper. There is no point in complaining about anything. The whining is not going to help.
Focus on the solutions.
… instead of looking at the problem and being grumpy about it. When you take things personally, you build a wall around you that stops you from thinking rationally.
Never Borrow Money from Friends or Family.
Borrowing money from friends changes the friendship dynamics. More than anything, you can take things for granted which can ruin your relationships. So don’t.
When in doubt, keep silent.
You cannot take words back. Once they are out of your mouth, they can reach deep inside someone else’s soul. It’s lost forever. So shut up. Don’t say anything nasty you will regret later.
Gossip is evil.
If there is nothing nice to say about someone, don’t say anything. God commands us not to do it. Gossiping is on the same level as stealing, killing or sleeping with someone else’s wife.
Invite someone over dinner within two weeks
… of them inviting you. I learnt this one too late. I wasn’t aware of this unwritten rule before. Many friendships remain undeveloped, untapped of their vast potency and richness.
Give to people who can never return the favour.
Giving to the rich will only make you poor. What is the point of giving to people who are able. It is the people who can never repay you need the most help.
Money and things are just the things of the earth.
Your money and possessions are God’s gift to you, let people use them if they need to. What is the point of hoarding things when you won’t get to use it after death? Give it away.
You can reuse wet wipes in 100 different ways.
Clean mirrors, spectacles, phones, laptops. It cleans feet instantly too! I put them in the washing machine and reuse them over again too. See this fantastic post to know more.
If you want to do something, do it NOW.
The perfect day will never come.
Remember people’s names.
People love hearing their names. You make a better connection with people that way too.
Purging unwanted things is good for everybody.
Stop hoarding, remember? Clear the clutter. One man’s waste is another man’s treasure. You never know how your blue sweater can end up on someone else living in Rwanda.
Praying and talking to God is powerful.
It’s free and you almost always get one in return. Smiling is good for your health too!
Love is more than physical affection or presents.
It is the things you do in your own capacity. Your love can be listening, cleaning or serving. Yes, serving is love too. I learnt that from my mother. All those years I hated her for not being like my friend’s mums who were “more” affectionate, considerate etc. My ma was always there ready with a hot plate of food for me, clothes all washed, and my room all cleaned every day. That was her love for me. I was just blind and stupid to see it.
*cries a little*
Wait until someone asks you for advice.
No One wants to know what you are doing with your face, hair or child. So don’t offer free advice, it won’t be valued. When they ask, go all in. otherwise, keep silent.
Listen to your body.
Your body is your temple. If it needs sleep, sleep. Eat when hungry. Drink when you are thirsty. This is one of the great tips to get fit and stay healthy.
Your job is not your life. It’s just a job.
You don’t have to kill yourself for your job. Losing sleep, skipping lunch or refusing to pick up your baby because of an urgent email or call from your boss is not worth it at all.
Switch off/switch on while at work.
So your mind is where it should be. If it is at work, be there. If it is at home, be there. You can’t be in both places at the same time.
Give a lot more than you expect to get.
You can’t take take take and expect the world. Don’t even expect anything when you do things for others. A selfless service is the best kind.
Practice Gratitude, it can save your sanity.
When you feel jealous or envy what others have, take a step back and open your eyes. See what you already have and be grateful for it.
Pray for your haters.
Then follow the advice God gives you to deal with them. Remember only God can change hearts or your situation. Trust Him.
Be the peacemaker.
Not the one who instigates a fight or revel in it.
You are also wrong sometimes.
Be gracious and admit it.
When you do, be the first one to apologise.
Say sorry and mean it.
If you are afraid they’d say no, ask anyway.
I’ve got many discounts at stores and other things just by asking. Asking for a raise is a different ballgame though. Find the most opportune time to do it.
Give a compliment to anyone you meet.
Do it at least once a day. Be sincere because people know when it’s fake compliments too.
Find at least one thing to love in everyone you meet.
This is the secret in dealing with people you just don’t like or want to be around. When you find that one thing they are good at, it changes your attitude towards them.
Work Hard, like God’s employee
Put your blood, sweat and guts in your work. Be smart about not letting it interfere with your life, though. Be passionate about anything you say you will do and success will follow.
Children Teach You Many Life Lessons
Take a mindful break each day to reflect how little children love unconditionally, forgive easily and look at life differently than us, adults do.
I hope you enjoyed this post. Let me know if you have any lessons for me in comments!