The one thing that finally filled the hole in my heart was Jesus. How I found God and changed my life completely. This is my Christian Testimony. The Story of My Life!
But read My backstory first, when finding God was the last thing on my mind.
Giving up alcohol, tobacco, narcotics came naturally to me, without any struggle or relapse. The pimples vanished; my womb was healed, I was fertile again. My flat chest was filled with more than enough milk – even for extended breastfeeding and so many countless other miracles took place in my life, but only after I got closer to God.
After trying out countless self-help techniques, years of therapy, and believing all the lies the world was telling like “think positive” or have more “self-esteem” and even “angel therapies” it was only God that finally caught my attention and changed my life for the good.
It wasn’t easy to find Jesus, especially since I was the one lost. But I became – despite everything that I was – a brand new creation when I had God back in my life.
I realised God had never really been out of my life. It was me who was distracted, making my own choices and dealing with the consequences, to pay attention to him.
I now know that God was working in my life even when it seemed to go to dust. He had a plan for me all along. And a good one, at that!
I literally felt God’s light shine through me as I connected with Him again and it’s just as He said – “The truth will set you free”. Yep, it is very a big deal for me.
I learnt the truth about marriage, Jesus and his teachings, how to live my life right mainly through the Life Application Study Bible (New Living Translation)
Why I picked up the Bible
I shared a part of my testimony, all the struggles I had gone in my life in another post, you can read it here. But it was really my first year of my marriage that I found the intuition to pick up the bible again. I was struggling with this new life, all the adjustments I had to make. There were many fights with my extended family and I just wanted it all to stop.
I tried discussing my problems with people, looked up how-to’s online, volunteered at a suicide prevention helpline, hoping maybe I could be helped in the process too. But nothing really gave me an answer how to really deal with my negative feelings about my family.
Then I remembered that Jesus taught many things like forgiveness and love. So I opened the Bible hoping to find an answer on how to love, more importantly, how to forgive the people who hurt me. Then I read this:
What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? 2 You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it. 8 Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world.11 Don’t speak evil against each other, dear brothers and sisters. If you criticize and judge each other, then you are criticizing and judging God’s law. But your job is to obey the law, not to judge whether it applies to you. 12 God alone, who gave the law, is the Judge. He alone has the power to save or to destroy. So what right do you have to judge your neighbor? ~ James 4:1-12
Now THIS made sense to me.
I did work on myself and my relationship with my extending family is thriving! We are closer than ever with much love and respect for each other. That took years to get there, but I am thankful to God that things worked out for us.
The Bible told me the truth that it was me who had to change first. So to get more insights, I started reading it from the beginning and saw that every incident, every character has a purpose, and everything had a lesson that was practical even today.
The guys from The Bible Project, explain Jesus in under 6 minutes!
How life can turn around just by the type of choices we make! Is it God-led? or is it just your selfish human need that wants to be fulfilled?
When I read the Bible, it isn’t like reading a novel or a self-help book. Yes, you can reach out to it whenever you need help, in whichever areas of your life they may be – love, parenting, marriage, management, money, family, forgiveness, murder, lust and rape – everything is in there. But it is so much more than that!
The FIRST STEP toward Change
It was building my personal relationship with God.
There is something wonderfully good that seeps within me as I read the scriptures and changes my whole being, every single time. This is the Holy Spirit. It is God’s spirit which allows those who read the Bible, believe it and have that fellowship with Christ, to feel things that we wouldn’t normally feel on our own.
For example, to love is not an easy thing at all – it takes a lot of work to change things about you first. It isn’t easy waking up in the morning to a clean slate when you’ve just had a badass brawl with your spouse just the night before.
Being a Christian is actually hard work, you need to work on your flaws, but then life gets easier with God’s spirit within me.
It’s not that I don’t have struggles. Everyone has struggles, but to fight them with a sense of calm, peace and love is what God’s Holy Spirit provides.
I get to have that only through Jesus.
Reading the Bible helped me get to know Him, be closer to God and God got closer to me.
To avoid temptations like the drugs, and alcohol was now easy and it’s that much easier to forgive people and myself, to admit my flaws, change, become humble, and most of all, become aware of how much God loves me!
What I finally understood from GOD
I understood that no matter what, it is GOD who is in control of everything.
When I take control over my life, that’s when I fall into trouble; making my own decisions without consulting or caring about God’s laws. Yep, God has laws; there are about 618 other laws on how to live your life and treat people and everything else in between.
But Jesus summed it all up by teaching that, FIRST Love God with all your heart, all your soul and all your mind – it is the greatest law. And the second one being Love your neighbour, as you love yourself. Matt22:38
When there is love, there is simply no room for anything evil. Money, sex, power, fame became the Gods of my life. I thought of them day and night; did everything in my power to have those. That was my mistake.
I realised the truth – nothing else should be above God, the Father. There should no other Gods other than the Father.
Most importantly, when I was wallowing in my guilt and shame, it was the meaning of Jesus’s death and resurrection that finally made sense. He died so I can be closer to God. He came back from the dead! and that gives me hope. Sounds complicated and overrated? It isn’t.
A Brand New Liz, the Brand New Creation
You see, I should’ve been punished for all these nasty mistakes I had done in my life (and keep committing new ones along the way), but since Jesus already suffered – for me – I can have faith that believing in Jesus’ DEATH FOR ME, my sinful self also dies. Like with his resurrection, a Brand New Liz is born. It was through Jesus that the Holy Spirit helps me do the good things in my life.
I now hope to live how Jesus lived – being a humble servant even to those who betray me. Being loving and kind, even to people who are may be untouchable like a tortuous boss, or an uncooperative spouse or a high-spirited child! Above all, trusting in God, the father for my every need is what helped me through it all.
This Liz, this me – now, is someone who is above everything that happened in the past. I am more loving, kinder and patient with everyone. I do try, and things are good as long as I am closer to God.
Of course, when I begin to drift away from God, some of my old sinful self, creeps back up – but thankfully, God sends me God-loving people who pray for me, guide me when I go astray and I always have the Bible to go back to, too.
God created all of us in his own image – that means his own DNA. We just lose track of it in our selfish ways.
I believe God’s true nature reflected best when I became a mother – the instinct to nurture, protect, discipline and love my children is the exact same way that God feels for all of us and disciplines us as we are his own children.
I now have hope and a purpose to my life. My disgrace cleaned now with His Grace.
How has God helped you? Are you waiting on Him too? Tell me.