Does your toddler curse or use foul language? It can be shocking to hear that tiny person use bad language. I’ll never forget the look in my mother in law ‘s eyes. They were red and her heart was full of sadness. I knew something was wrong right away. I kept probing her to tell me and then she did.
The shameful incident
They were in the bedroom, helping the bride-to-be switch saris during a Hindu engagement ceremony. My toddler (2.9years old) was there and I guess, was in dire need of some attention. So after trying a few usual tricks, she resorted to yelling out F-U a few times and laughing all the way.
I wasn’t there. I was outside with the rest of the cast and crew of the family, the extended family and other extensions of the extended family. We were waiting patiently for the would-be bride to come out and get on with the ceremony.
When my mother in law came out of the room, she looked around blankly. She then sat next to me but wasn’t her usual lively self. Her eyes were red, possibly from crying, and a mortified look I’ve never seen on her before.
My toddler’s cursing, a little act for attention had shocked and embarrassed her.
It was a slap on my face too. I couldn’t say anything except ask about their response. No one found it funny and everyone was mortified too.
Using profanity in front of your toddler
I couldn’t help but take the blame for this incident and for all the times I yell F-U at my gentle giant (hubs).
I was immediately sorry for being a neglectful wife and such a detestable parent who uses profanity at home, in front of impressionable babies.
All because I believed in some article that said only intelligent people use profanity or that it’s ok to use bad words to relieve anger. If random articles written by a person is believable, then why not believe what God says in the Bible?
When to keep your mouth shut
Remember these tips if you find your toddler is swearing.
- Stop using bad language yourself first.
- Don’t laugh at your toddler’s profanity, it may confuse them to think its ok to do it.
- Be calm instead and do not give your toddler the attention they want for it.
- Be very serious when it happens and communicate clearly that “these are not nice words to say”.
- Apologize for using bad language, if you do, and say that “it wasn’t right to use bad language”
- Refrain from watching media that use profanity with your toddler.
- When in doubt, remember this wisdom from the Bible >>
It was God’s grace that a forward sent by my dear friend, Asha, spoke to me.
Download and share this wisdom with your loved ones.
The repentance and change.
If I decide on an act of will that I will not use profanity in front of my children, I cannot guarantee I’ll follow through it. Just changing the outward behavior is not going to help you be consistent. Unless you change your heart of the matter, sooner or later you will slip. Old habits are hard to change, right?
So if I wanted to stop using profanity in front of my kids, I need to change my heart. This is where the power of God through Christ comes to full effect.
Christ changes our hearts so he rids us of our old self. That means all issues of anger, profanity, laziness, jealousy etc
My body, my possessions, my money and my words are a representative of who I am in Christ.
Jesus summed up all the commandments of the Bible by saying “love God first and then love everyone as you love yourself”. To follow this command, You must show love even in your darkest moments and gentle speech will follow. Besides, God is always there. God is in the room!
So pray with me, for a change of heart and for more self-control. Jesus loves you no matter how dirty you are. You don’t have to take bath, offer gold or fruits for a clean heart, all you need to do is acknowledge your sin and change. That requires humility, just like Jesus who was God, and he came down to die for you. Who does that?
Put your faith where your mouth is because – besides God:
Toddlers are always watching.
One of the Montessori principles is imitation is the first instinct of the awakening mind.
The way you react and respond to life’s daily humdrum is how a toddler will learn too. If you have a bad temper and react aggressively, your toddlers are more likely to imitate that behavior with their friends and siblings.
This shameful incident has prompted me to grow up and be more mindful around children. Also, that even a fool appears to be wise when he’s silent.
So do you struggle with profanity or is your toddler using bad words? How would you handle it? Open your heart here in comments to learn from each other too.
Hello! Are you new here? Subscribe to get new posts and letters from me straight to your inbox. Meanwhile, share this post with your friends and family.