HABBY BARFDAY to me.
Everybody thinks 20’s will be the best time of their lives. But the truth is far from it. You can only party, get high or go crazy that much.
My big 3-0 milestone is here already. Now that it’s here I took a few days to reflect on the things that really matter in my life right now.
Newly laundered bed sheets, clean towels, a fresh pot of coffee, simple things like this give me more pleasure than a mid-day shopping expedition at the mall or a day at the beach. I like some sunshine, the smell of vanilla and lemons too.
What I don’t like is being undervalued. I don’t like being lied to and I don’t like you sitting on my bed with your outside clothes.
*continues to rant inaudibly*
I completed over 90% of my bucket list – 60 things to do before 30, though.
It only gets better from here.
So here is some lady-wisdom you can use.
Share these life lessons with someone you love or snigger at it while you enjoy a good read. Let me know if you have any lessons for me in comments!
Complaining is a waste of time.
GOD is in control of everything. I can’t control the weather, the traffic and sometimes my own temper. There is no point in complaining about anything because it does not help.
“Do all things without grumbling or disputing;” Philippians 2:14
Focus on the solutions instead of looking at the problem and being grumpy about it. When you take things personally, you build a wall around you that stops you from thinking rationally.
Never Borrow Money from Friends or Family.
Borrowing money from friends changes the friendship dynamics. More than anything, you can take things for granted which can ruin your relationships. So don’t.
When in doubt, keep silent.
You cannot take words back. Once they are out of your mouth, they can reach deep inside someone else’s soul. It’s lost forever. So shut up. Don’t say anything nasty you will regret later.
“A time to rip, and a time to sew; a time to keep silent, and a time to speak.” Eccles 3:7
Gossip is evil.
If there is nothing nice to say about someone, don’t say anything. God commands us not to do it. Gossiping is on the same level as stealing, killing or sleeping with someone else’s wife.
“A worthless person concocts evil gossip his lips are like a burning fire.” Prov 16:27
Invite someone over dinner within two weeks
… of them inviting you. I learned this one too late. I wasn’t aware of this unwritten rule before. Many friendships remain undeveloped, untapped of their vast potency and richness.
Give to people who can never return the favor.
Giving to the rich will only make you poor. What is the point of giving to people who are able? It is the people who can never repay you need the most help. In the same way, Jesus said to love the unlovable people in your life. that’s one of the best ways to cope in a loveless marriage too.
“If your enemy is hungry, give him some food to eat, and if he is thirsty, give him some water to drink.” Proverbs 25:21
Money and things are just the things of the earth.
Your money and possessions are God’s gift to you, let people use them if they need to. What is the point of hoarding things when you won’t get to use it after death? Give it away.
You can reuse wet wipes in 100 different ways.
Clean mirrors, spectacles, phones, laptops. It cleans feet instantly too! I put them in the washing machine and reuse them over again too. See this fantastic post to know more.
If you want to do something, do it NOW.
The perfect day will never come.
Remember people’s names.
People love hearing their names. You make a better connection with people that way too.
Purging unwanted things is good for everybody.
Stop hoarding, remember? Clear the clutter. One man’s waste is another man’s treasure. You never know how your blue sweater can end up on someone else living in Rwanda.
Praying and talking to God is powerful.
It’s free and you almost always get one in return. Smiling is good for your health too!
Love is more than physical affection or presents.
It is the things you do in your own capacity. Your love can be listening, cleaning or serving. Yes, serving is love too. I learnt that from my mother. All those years I hated her for not being like my friend’s mums who were “more” affectionate, considerate etc. My ma was always there ready with a hot plate of food for me, clothes all washed, and my room all cleaned every day. That was her love for me. I was just blind and stupid to see it… *cries a little*
Wait until someone asks you for advice.
No one wants to know what you do with your face, hair or child. Free advice is never valued. Go all in of someone does ask, otherwise, keep silent.
Listen to your body.
Your body is your temple. If it needs sleep, sleep. Eat when hungry. Drink when you are thirsty. This is one of the great tips to get fit and stay healthy.
Your job is not your life. It’s just a job.
You don’t have to kill yourself for your job. Losing sleep, skipping lunch or refusing to pick up your baby because of an urgent email or call from your boss is not worth it at all.
Switch off/switch on while at work.
So your mind is where it should be. If it is at work, be there. If it is at home, be there. You can’t be in both places at the same time. This is one of the best ways to increase your productivity while working from home too.
Give a lot more than you expect to get.
You can’t take take take and expect the world to give give give. Don’t expect anything when you do things for others. A selfless service is the best kind.
Practice Gratitude, it can save your sanity.
When you feel jealous or envy what others have, take a step back and open your eyes to see what you already have and be grateful for it and see how great you feel immediately.
Pray for your haters.
When you do, God guides you to deal with them. Remember, only God can change people. Trust Him.
Be the peacemaker.
Not the one who starts a fight. “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.” Matthew 5:9
You are also wrong sometimes.
Admitting it makes you humble and only then will you be open to correction and build character. “Hear instruction and be wise, and do not neglect it.” Proverbs 8:33
Be the first one to apologise.
Say sorry and mean it.
If you think they would say no, ask anyway.
I’ve got many discounts just by asking. Asking for a raise is a different ballgame though. Find the most opportune time to do it.
Give a compliment to anyone you meet.
Do it at least once a day. Be sincere because people know when it’s fake compliments too.
Find at least one thing to love in everyone you meet.
This is the secret in dealing with people you just don’t like or want to be around. When you find that one thing they are good at and love them for it, it changes your attitude towards them.
Work Hard, like God’s employee
Put your blood, sweat and guts in your work. Be smart about not letting it interfere with your life, though. Be passionate about anything you say you will do and success will follow.
Children Teach You Many Life Lessons
Take a mindful break each day to reflect how little children love unconditionally, forgive easily and look at life differently.
I hope you enjoyed this post. Let me know if you have any lessons for me in comments.