Born in a Catholic family, I knew Christ only at the age of 26.
Before I Accepted Christ (or gave Him complete control)
I went through a dark struggle of shame and disgrace after I was s*xually ab*sed as a child. I could never discuss it with my parents. The relationship with my mother was so strained. As a teenager, I was vulnerable to older men who preyed on me. Somewhere along the line, I got my security of happiness through s*x addiction which led to an abortion at 16. I just couldn’t forgive myself. The shame and guilt I felt as a child came flooding back. To numb that pain, substance ab*se was go-to for me.
As the years passed, I made one bad decision after another. I went into credit card debt to look good on the outside, all the while avoiding real problems on the inside – an eating disorder, the dr*g addiction, depression, isolation, a recluse on purpose. I was living dysfunctional life, detached from all friends and family. Yoga, positive thinking, self-esteem, astrology, numerology, angel therapy, “the secret” power of attraction… I tried all the new age advice to find peace and forgiveness but nothing helped my shame and the pain of guilt.
Between all this, I was forced to marry at 24 yrs. I wasn’t prepared for this new life. To let my in-laws down with my detached behavior was the worst; I cut all my long curly hair. couldn’t do laundry, couldn’t cook, or keep house neat, nothing I did was good enough. At this point, I was so frustrated with this newlywed life that I was almost suicidal.
That’s where God found me!
Hoping to get help by helping others I volunteered at Connecting NGO, a Suicide Prevention helpline in Pune. The manager there was a believer, Bobby Zachariah. One day during a shift we got talking about God and the way he spoke about God Blew Me Away. Bobby spoke about God as though he knew Him. I wanted to know God like that. But did God want someone as disgraced as me? I wondered… but something kept me moving forward in faith.
How I Received Christ (or gave Him complete control)
All this was happening while I was working as a Corporate in an IT company. Coworkers saw me as the most positive, infectious person around; I made everyone happy 🙂 I was smiling but crying on the inside. Nobody knew. So when I needed a team member, Bobby from the suicide helpline referred Jess, another fellow believer. I hired him and in the months that followed, I was a horrible boss taking out my personal life’s frustrations on Jess.And Jess? He always had that smile, he was always kind and patient with my first-time lady boss tantrums. In reality, Jess was speaking the gospel to me with his actions! He showed me what a true Christian lives like!
I thought to myself if Jess can be so kind and forgiving to me in spite of my transgressions against him at work, how much more loving and forgiving is God? Everything nudged me to open the Bible to know more. I bought my first Bible and devoured it from Page 1. That’s when I started to understand God’s master plan. Did you know? Every story from the Old Testament to the New points to Christ! As a Lit-grad I was amazed at how beautifully interwoven all these stories were. But not just stories, the Bible was more than self-help, it was alive with God’s words to me!
After I Accepted Christ (or gave Him complete control)
I felt sorry for how irresponsible I had been to my body and the life God had so graciously given to me. He forgave me through Jesus’ work on the cross and I could feel a snuggly hug, a warm embrace coming from God every time I spent quiet time or prayed to Him. We became friends, but more than that, God became my forgiving, comforting, loving, father I always wished I had.
With the personal relationship with God established, it was easy to kick my 10-year dr*g habit immediately. According to the scriptures Isaiah 59:21, when the Holy Spirit dwells within his people, they change. Their former desires no longer entice them; now their chief aim is to please God. We who are Christians today are the heirs of this prophecy; we are able to respond to God’s will and distinguish between good and evil because the Holy Spirit dwells within us. (John 14:26; Philippians 2:13; Hebrews 5:14)
…and within a month or so I conceived my firstborn. We responded to God’s will for us to have a baby. This was very surprising to us because we’ve been s*xually active for 9yrs and never got pregnant before this. We never planned for a baby or discussed it. But the desire to want one at the same time, without discussion, was no coincidence. Be fruitful and multiply, God said to me in Genesis 1:28 Children are a reward, He said in Psalm 127:3 I quit my corporate job to look after my baby, and start blogging. I was out of work so then God led me to Freelance Writing from home! I started blogging. Then He led me to Instagram and here we are.
Even after we had parted ways from work, Jess was instrumental in my spiritual life. Jess suggested I join a bible-believing church called Marg, Pune. Praise God for friends like him! With the newfound fellowship, I finally understood how indebted I am to Christ. He rid of all my pain, shame and disgrace. So I accepted Christ to be the Lord of my life and was baptized in 2015.
The 180 now!
Does this make me a better person now? YES!! I am debt-free, running a successful online business, from home. Have the most loving three daughters! Those are my greatest accomplishments after Christ. But I’m not perfect. I still struggle every day with my temper, communication (oh boy! being a Christian is not easy!) to perform all earthly roles; to be an understanding wife, manage my finances, but only with His grace! Now I dedicate my life to Jesus!
If you see an ounce of goodness in me, know that it’s HIM, not me.
My focus now is to bring my children up to be women of God too, be the Proverbs 31 wife, have David’s heart and a woman who is a light in the darkness just like Christ. John 1:5 And I want to do this because Christ took my shame and restored my relationship with God. Because loved me first, 1 John 4.
Let all glory be to God!
Thank you for watching & reading!
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Wow just wow!thank you for reminding me the fact that i serve a mighty Lord!been days since i prayed and i am going to do it now!!!
I honestly cannot get through without talking to the Lord, studying the Bible. There’s just so much truth in it and it’s God’s word breathing through it. Encourage you pray and worship daily 🙂
Omg such an inspiring story. I explored almost all religions, even explored new age stuffs but i was always attracted toward jesus and Christianity.
Read your testimony, its mind blowing and the way you have honestly , frankly mentioned the things are worth an eye opener!
Then I went on reading the next , on Mother’s bond… again awesome eye opening for me too!
I bought the book too, ‘ 5 love language ‘
Love you for this
Thank you for reading 🙂 Please let me know how you like the book too!
It’s so beautiful to see how our Lord works miracle for the people who love him . May your family worship the Living God . Amen ❤️ Beautiful to read your testimony . God bless you abundantly ?
Let all glory be to God! ❤️
I am at the crossroads now. Been a believer for 20 yrs, but haven’t progressed in my faith and hence questioning everything now. I’ve been a smoker for 20 yrs too and the habit has gotten more and more difficult to kick now. I’m still unsure ?
This reminded me of the Old Testament story when Moses brought the people out of Egypt. They saw fantastic miracles performed and yet, as soon as they got out they start sinning again. It’s very very easily to fall back on temptation. So the only way to “fight” that is to “wear the armour of God” – how? By spending time with Him. The more I learn about God, the stories, the word of the Bible speak to me. God speaks to me and my life became more about Him than anything else. So “keeping my eyes on the prize” – All this I know from studying the Bible. I am not perfect, none of us can ever be. This may sound like me rambling but I just wanted to encourage you to spend time with God. How can we love someone we do not know?
I’m not sure how to respond to this. A point of view that I did not see coming. Yes, I want to give complete control to Jesus. But I don’t trust myself to control my flesh. It’s happened before and I’m afraid it’ll happen again. But I’m willing to try again. What if it doesn’t work? Again.
It’s guaranteed to tempt you again. So the only way is to fight that temptation with the Holy Spirit. I was studying Isaiah 63 today, and a verse 10 got me curious. What does “grieving the Holy Spirit” mean? It led me to Ephesians 4:28-32 some of it says “…do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live …” that HIT me. I use found language from time to time, and that grieves the Holy Spirit. If you look up these verses, you’ll now what I am saying. Basically, trust he focus AWAY from yourself, this is not about you or me. Focus on God and what He is trying to teach us. The world will tell you “listen to your heart” Bible says Heart can be deceiving! the world will tell you to dig deep in your past, Bible says if you look back you’ll turn to stone! The teachings of the Bible are the exact opposite to what the world is bombarded. So, I urge you to take your cross (which is falling back into sin) and follow Jesus, daily. Jesus says healthy people don’t need hospital. Its weak spirits like you and me that need Jesus. That’s when you need Him the most! “My power is made strong in your weakness” — Im a literature student so these verses are like poetry to me, so beautiful, timeless with deep meanings. I encourage you to study them to know more, to not be blind to the truth 🙂 In Jesus name, Amen
Hi Liz,
I wish to know him more and yet i don’t put that effort. I lack the urge or the curosity , how did u religiously take time to work on that.
After I bought my bible I made sure to make time to read it and study it. The verses I read, I would look up youtube videos on it to learn more about them because verses in the bible are often taken out of context, it was very important to me to dig deep to learn the origins and other connections related to the verses (as I like my research to be thorough in all matters) My thirst and hunger to learn more became insatiable as I read more of the Bible. It was God who lead me to do all this, gave me the wisdom. I always pray before opening my bible. I guess this devserves a whole blog post! Let me pen down the steps for inspo then – thank you for asking me – but I will eave you with this – James 1:5
5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.